Two-way street? 双向道


Reader question:

When relationships are described as a two-way street, what does it mean?

My comments:

This means the relationships are reciprocal, mutually beneficial. You work for others while others work for you. You expect others to do some things for you, and they can expect the same from you. You don’t have to do certain things for them, and they don’t have to do certain things for you either.

To use a cliché, you treat others the way you want them to treat you.

To use a real cliché, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

A two-way street, you see, is the opposite of a one-way street. With the one-way street, all go in from one end and out the other end. Sure enough a one-way street is sometimes a dead street, I mean, a dead-end street, a street that reaches a dead end.

We’ve all encountered situations where someone says: “My way, or no way.” That’s an example of a one-way street relationship.

In other words, my way or the high way! You do as I say or else.

An employer, for example, may talk like that and behave that way.

Often enough, an employee who works under such a dictator-like boss ends up leaving their job.

If, on the other hand, the employer and employees share a mutual respect, then it’s a two-way street. They and their business may flourish.

You need other things to be in place in order to flourish at work, of course. Of course, but suppose you have all other resources available, then, with mutual respect, all will really flourish.

Otherwise, all will quite probably end up in tears, like tourists reaching the end of a blind alley, a one-way street.

All right, no more ado, let’s read a few recent media examples of relationships or situations that are of the two-way street type:

1. Hannah Godwin may not have found love with Colton UnderwoodOpens in a new Window., but that doesn’t mean she’s done with searching for The One on reality TV. So, does that mean Bachelor in ParadiseOpens in a new Window. will be her next stop? It’s definitely an option.

“I know that, personally, I caught major feelings in this whole entire experience, so I think I’d definitely be open to catching feelings, but hopefully it would be on a two-way street situation instead of just a one-way,” Godwin, 23, told Us Weekly in an exclusive interview, adding that she’s looking for someone “who’s humble, open-minded, hard-working and caring.”

If The BachelorOpens in a new Window. star does end up appearing on season 6 of the ABC hit series, she may already have her eye on someone.

“I think that there’s a few really good options and I’d have to meet with them in person and see if there’s a connection,” Godwin told Us. “I don’t know. I think Blake [Horstmann]’s a cutie.”

Horstmann was the runner up on Becca KufrinOpens in a new Window.‘s season of The BacheloretteOpens in a new Window. and is — lucky for Godwin — single and ready to mingle.

“I’m always interested in dating and you never know when the love of your life is going to walk into your life. So I’m definitely open to all of that,” the Colorado native, 29, told Us during JustFab’s finale viewing party on March 12, adding that while Paradise is still a few months away, it’s definitely a possibility for him. “If I’m single, I will probably be on Paradise.”

- The Bachelor’s Hannah Godwin Is ‘Open’ to ‘Bachelor in Paradise,’ Has Her Eye on This ‘Bachelorette’ Alum,, March 17, 2019.

2. Sometimes politics doesn’t have anything to do with right or wrong, legal or illegal. Sometimes it is just politics.

That could be the case in the recent situation where Attleboro City Councilor Todd Kobus drove an allegedly suicidal person to the local hospital to seek help, then was chastised in public by Mayor Paul Heroux for exposing the city to liability by not calling the proper authorities instead.

Yet Heroux also admitted, “I might have done the same thing.”

Heroux called Kobus after learning of the incident to tell him he broke protocol and should have called the Attleboro Fire Department. Kobus allegedly responded he believed he did the right thing given the situation and would do it again. Heroux then discussed the situation with The Sun Chronicle, eventually sending emails to the newspaper that included an explanation Heroux requested from the fire chief, explaining the potential legal and ethical issues.

Let’s be clear: There are sensitive issues involved here as to the liability the city might have from actions of this type by a city councilor or other official. The mayor has a legitimate concern in trying to shield the city from lawsuits and protect his constituents.

But Kobus was thrust into a situation where a life was possibly at stake. As a result of his personal professional experience, he has training in the area of suicide prevention. It can easily be argued that had he called 911, and the individual objected and committed suicide, there might have also been liability issues. Not to mention a dead human being.

Politics is always a two-way street. The mayor is hardly the only practitioner in Attleboro.

But as the city’s chief executive, he has to raise the bar here. Telling Kobus in an email to “Stay in your lane, councilor” smacks at least as much of arrogance and petty politics as concern for protocol.

Maybe the mayor should widen his lane a little. But both the mayor and the council need to produce more mutual respect and less political bickering. Maybe that could become a “protocol?”

- City needs less political bickering,, August 18, 2019.

3. Former UFC fighter Paddy Holohan doubts he will be able to rekindle his relationship with SBG head coach John Kavanagh.

Mixed-martial-artist turned politician Holohan successfully launched his autobiography, Hooligan, in Dublin on Monday night at an event attended by training partners, friends, family and fans.

Although he hinted at a rift with Kavanagh in a previous interview with ESPN following his election to the South Dublin County Council, in Hooligan, the former UFC flyweight sheds light on the breakdown of his relationship with the celebrated coach.

At the launch event, Holohan discussed the situation in an appearance on MMA Fighting’s Eurobash podcast.

“I think what happened was, a huge group of people went and did something really, really great together and I feel like a lot of that is forgotten about,” Holohan explained on the latest episode of Eurobash.

“John doesn’t really talk about us and talk about the lads that put the situation where it is now…with me and John, for many years I had worked for the man and I had jumped through hoops for the man—many more hoops than he jumped through for me—he taught me the way. A coach and fighter is a two-way process. At the start it’s a one-way street, you’re learning from the coach and the coach gives you attention and time, but then it becomes a two-way street and that’s when it went wrong.”

Hooligan describes how a joint business venture led to the final fallout between the Dubliners, and Holohan underlined how he felt that Kavanagh didn’t have his back when it mattered most.

“I had John’s back for many years and when it came time for him to have my back, he didn’t; he sat on the fence. When it came time to rectify it, we were asked for a fee of €5000 ($5555). To me, it’s not about the f*cking money, it’s about the control—you pay me and that means I’m above you—that’s all it is,” said Holohan. “There have been many ways that John could’ve stepped in and done the right thing, but unfortunately, he didn’t. It doesn’t make me bitter, I’m just sorry that I put so much time and so much respect and love into something and I didn’t get the return from it.”

“The Hooligan” also claimed that he thinks it would be difficult to make amends with Kavanagh.

“Even if you listen to his Ariel Helwani interview and he asked him [if we could repair the relationship], [John] said, ‘Sure’. I think that answered it. We’re all from Dublin, we’re not stupid; we know body language. With John, I don’t think [we can repair the relationship]. I don’t think he’ll ever cross that bridge. Whatever happened on his side, in his situation, he thinks something else, something different [happened]. But the situation was and still is, you should’ve had my back when you said you’d have my back when I went out and I put my whole life on the line, my whole career. If that gym had failed off the back of that, I would’ve had no livelihood. I have a kid, I have kids, so what would I be doing? I couldn’t make up with someone who took a shot at my livelihood.”

- Paddy Holohan on relationship breakdown with John Kavanagh: ‘He didn’t have my back’,, November 6, 2019.


About the author:

Zhang Xin is Trainer at He has been with China Daily since 1988, when he graduated from Beijing Foreign Studies University. Write him at:, or raise a question for potential use in a future column.

(作者:张欣 编辑:丹妮)

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